Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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