If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
