When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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