In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize