Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize