I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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