that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
