Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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