i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
