I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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