My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
