New invention idea: vibrating tampons
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
