I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
