When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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