pedialite and red bull = repair kit
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
