WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
