dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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