I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize