if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We are two peas in an std pod
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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