seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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