i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
