i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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