dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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