I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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