sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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