I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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