I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize