ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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