You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It was confusing and full of hummus
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
