Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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