We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
