I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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