so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize