So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
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You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
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It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.