So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
