who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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