I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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