ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
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If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
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I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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