i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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