Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
