is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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