I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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