he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
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