its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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