Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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