so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize