An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize