The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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