i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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