How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
