i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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