i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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